Waking up to frost and remembering your dream

/

Well, the seasons have changed and I’m finally back to living somewhere that actually experiences winters. It seems as if in a matter of a day we went from above average warm temps where I was still having to open the doors and windows to freezing cold and waking up to frost.

remembering your dream JPG

I’m not complaining though. This kind of weather makes my soul sing with joy. I’m a PNW kind of girl through and through and although I’m not ready to head back now if ever, I was definitely ready to get back to a climate that felt like home.

My biggest challenge so far has been trying to figure out how to keep the yurt warm. It is, after all, a big tent. And since I’m on a limited budget, I’m having to get clever. I did purchase insulated curtains that are supposed to help but I also have three space heaters that aren’t the most efficient but are definitely better than nothing. But I like this exploration process. It makes me feel like I’m living.

The farm has totally different energy now too. It’s amazing how something like that can change with the turning of the weather and seasons.

I feel different as well. I feel more internal. Hibernating if you will. Which is exactly what part of my intention is. To flow more with the seasons and this time of year represents slowing down and turning inward more.

My days have been spent baking and cooking and yes, more relaxing too but I’m still struggling with the rewiring of my brain a bit. The go and do more equates to self-worth mentality is a long-time story of mine that I am working on daily. Living out here is helping.

With the change of the season, I am reminded of why I am here. To remember who I am and my dreams and the frost reminded me of living on the farm in Oregon and that part of me that felt so alive planning for the spring planting season and that is what I am doing now.

It feels good to remember your dreams.


Getting Into Alignment

/

Once upon a time I lived on a farm and vineyard and had a blog called Bullfrogs and Bulldogs and the Randoms of Country Life. It was a creative outlet for me before I even realized I was creative. Honestly, it probably was the catalyst for me learning that I was creative.

It was a special place for me to share my transition from city life to farm life. Its original intent was to share more of the farming and homesteading aspects of my life but started to transition more into DIY and food.

Read More

Let's Be Honest, I Kind of Suck at Slowing Down

/

Back in July when this whole move came about I felt deeply in my gut that one of the main reasons I was being called to move to Bodega and live this way of life was to slow down and simplify so that I could really figure out who I am and what I am here for. Well, almost three months in and I must confess. I kind of suck at the slow down.

Read More

What If We Are Attacked by Zombies? Irrational Thoughts In a Giant Tent

/

Someone asked me recently if I get scared of living in the middle of nowhere in a giant tent. I paused and thought about this for a moment remembering that sometimes I’d leave my doors unlocked at night in my house in the suburbs of Encinitas yet here, I double and triple check my locks before crawling into bed. The funny thing is, I know logically I am safer here but the years of binge-watching horror movies have me convinced otherwise. I can’t help but think that where I currently live is the perfect setting for a horror movie.

Read More

Dealing With Mental Health: PTSD

/

About a week ago I had an assessment with a Psychiatrist at Moore’s Cancer Center to be evaluated for some mental health issues that had been coming up in a pretty significant way for the last few months. In reality, these issues have been haunting me for a very long time.

I sat before him and poured out my life story, tears streaming down my face as I observed the parts I felt most compelled to share.

At the end of our session, he confirmed what I had already intuitively known, I was in the midst of PTSD. However, he also confirmed something else that, if I’m honest, I already intuitively knew as well; Borderline Personality Disorder.

Read More