Getting Into Alignment

Once upon a time I lived on a farm and vineyard and had a blog called Bullfrogs and Bulldogs and the Randoms of Country Life. It was a creative outlet for me before I even realized I was creative. Honestly, it probably was the catalyst for me learning that I was creative.

It was a special place for me to share my transition from city life to farm life. Its original intent was to share more of the farming and homesteading aspects of my life but started to transition more into DIY and food.

When my ex and I split, I moved back to Seattle and didn’t know how to keep that space going any longer as I found myself back in the suburbs. So I let it go and kept this blog. This blog was originally focused on health and wellness, and then transitioned into more of a journal as I navigated my move down to Encinitas and then going through cancer. However, it’s never really felt like ‘home’ to me like Bullfrogs and Bulldogs did. It still doesn’t if I’m honest.

My intention was to always have an online space that felt like home. A place where people could come and feel like they were sitting with me sipping on coffee deep in conversation. I’m trying to figure out how to get to that space here. So please bear with me.

It’s not a coincidence that I find myself back on a farm wanting to share about my journey of simplifying my life and getting back into things that represent that for me. However, I’m trying to figure out exactly what that looks like for me now. I love to pour my heart out onto these pages. The ups and downs of life but I find myself wanting to share less of the downs because as I get more into alignment, I’m experiencing less dramatic downs.

And then I realized something big. This space gets to be THAT journey too.

I can be so black and white still, always feeling like it has to be this or that.

So as I get more in alignment, this space is going to reflect that. It’s still a journal but I may share recipes and homesteading stuff and all my projects around the farm. I’m not sure how it’s going to look exactly yet and I’m letting my heart guide me. I’m taking the pressure off of myself to figure it all out. I’m going to let it evolve naturally and in its own time.

The biggest thing I know right now is that the more aligned I get with my truth, the happier and more content I am feeling in my skin. That is a welcomed change.

For me, this was because I listened to that quiet whisper inside and took a leap of faith and moved. This massive change in my life of slowing down and getting more intentional. Had I not gotten honest with myself after my mental breakdown last winter about the need to radically change my life and find my way into more alignment with who I really am, things probably would look a lot different for me right now.

But I did get honest with myself. I took a good long hard look at my life, who I was showing up as and what my heart was longing for and I started to make changes. I took a leap, took the road less traveled, uprooted and moved and got knocked on my butt by emotions and feelings and unprocessed trauma. But what I realized now is that I was really getting knocked back into alignment. The Universe was quite literally forcing me back to the parts of me that are most authentic. And that is this journey I now find myself on.

A life of slowing down, intentionality and simplifying my life. In whatever way that means for. It’s an unfolding process.

But it doesn’t happen overnight. It takes work and total honesty with yourself. It takes facing some scary stuff and accepting your past. It takes meeting my shame and all those parts of myself I ran from for years.

And now I’m here. Seeing so much more clearly who I really am.

This space, this home of mine, is going to start reflecting more of that too.

As always, thank you so much for following this journey. It truly means so much to me.