What Does your Heart Really Want?

This past weekend I took a twenty-four-hour "no computer" break from Saturday afternoon to Sunday afternoon. I wasn’t totally off the computer but I didn’t feel the pressure to be in front of it all day. It's weird, the pressure we now feel to be "on" all the time.

I didn’t really start with specific plans so to speak of but ended up doing exactly what I think my heart really needed right now. I got outside and created with a shovel.

I did backbreaking work and loved every single moment of it and I found myself drifting off into daydreams of wondering how I could do this for a living. Dig holes and play in the dirt and build stuff. Maybe I’ll design gardens for a living one day too.

My neighbor, a young guy named Luis just moved into the cabin right above me. He and his dog, Baker’s best friend Charro, lived in the old run-down trailer by the entrance of the farm and when the couple who lived in the cabin moved out, they took their place. Luis is a good guy. He knows a lot about gardening and native California plant species so we spend a good amount of time discussing that. I feel I have a lot to learn if I’m going to really give this garden thing a real go.

Luis and I decided we were going to swap out storage units. He has two rather large ones and I want to get rid of the one I have that currently lives under my deck. So my day began by spontaneously taking apart the one he is giving me, washing it because well, I’m pretty sure some mice were making it home and moved it all down to my place. I have big goals for it that involve building a greenhouse off of the side out of old windows.

The problem is, the ground is sloped so I’m having to figure out the next steps. But I love this part. Figuring out the next steps. This is when I realize I’m more like my dad then I like to admit but this is part of him I don’t mind sharing. His ability to dream up creative solutions out of what seemed like thin air. His mind was a creative wonderland.

I use to watch when he was in creative mode with awe because you could tell his brain was in high production mode. There was no stopping him when he was like this and he could dream up just about anything.

After allowing the wheels to turn for a bit in my own brain, I decided to level out the area with the dirt I dug up from my garden in the front, another project I’m working on. Getting my garden organized so I can begin the process of planning for seed sowing.

So as I dug out and leveled the garden in front, I filled a wheel barrel with dirt and moved it to the spot where the shed and greenhouse will go.

I started digging a new path that leads from the front to the back because the old one was small and I kept tripping over it. I still have a ways to go and eventually I’d love to put pavers along the path.

I worked like this for much of the day. Later that even, every inch of me hurt but not from the normal aches and pains that come with illness or aging. It's the aches and pains that come with doing something you love.

And it hit me. This is what simplifying my life means to me. Getting back to intentionality. Getting back to what brings me joy and bliss.

So I spend the day creating with a shovel and I went to be happier then I have in a very long time.