Feeling the Resistance - And Breaking Through It - A How to

Hi Sweetpeas! This morning I had a huge revelation. I realized I have come up against some series resistance and I'm wondering if you have been feeling the same.  We are three weeks into the new year how are you doing with your resolutions, goals and intentions for 2014? Are you still in the super motivated - I'm kicking butt phase or have you started to feel the resistance that undoubtedly will come?

What do I mean "undoubtedly" will come? Well, I know that for me, any time I decide to make some serious and amazing changes I get really excited and start rolling and sometime about three weeks into it I'm smacked head on by that lovely little thing called resistance. All of the sudden all the reasons why I can't or shouldn't do what I want to do start running ramped in my head and I start to see myself slow down.

One of my intentions for 2014 is transition my coaching business into what I've always wanted it to be, more focused on prevention and plant-based foods and our relationship to both, i.e.: the emotional aspect of eating. I have big dreams and started the year off running, super excited about where I was going and then WHAM! All of the sudden these thoughts of "there are already SO many coaches who focus on this, "what can I actually provide that is so different?" "doing laundry sounds SO amazing right now!" and I found myself mopping around the house watching reruns of The Real Housewives.

Resistance was getting the better of me but I'm not going to surrender that easily. 

So what do you do when you come up against resistance?

It feels pretty crappy and honestly, it's what sabotages most of us from ever achieving the life we know we want and deserve. Here is how I'm getting through it and maybe you can take a little something away from this and it will help you push through whatever resistance is coming your way too.

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No matter how many other people out there are doing exactly what I am doing, my message is just that, mine, and someone out there is needing to hear it from me.

- I will touch someone in a way that no one else can and so my voice has to be shared.

Do one thing at a time. 

- I have so many plans and ideas but the only way to get from point a to z is to go through all the other steps... one step at a time. I need to work on one project at a time so I don't get overwhelmed and lose focus and just throw in the towel. Sound familiar?

I remind myself that I have a purpose - and this is exactly where I am supposed to be!

- I know in my heart that I am meant to help people. I haven't gone through what I've gone through not to help others who are possibly dealing with similar things. I have a purpose and I know that I am aligned with it. 

I need to reconnect with my inner voice/guide.

- Usually when I start to let resistance get the better of me I realize that I have let me mediation practice go and a deeper connection with my inner voice/guide as well. She is full of infinite wisdom and will lead me down the right road when I call upon her and you have one too! I'll be honest, I've really slipped on my meditation practice. I haven't really been able to get myself to do one lately. I've tried but there is this thing called...resistance...that keeps getting in my way.

I find myself all anxious and unable to sit quietly (or at all for that matter) however, I know that when I spend the time, even if it's for five minutes, I feel so much clearer and full of life and energy. I'm gonna find her again and see what happens.

I need to re-connect with like-minded people who will keep pushing me to share my mission. 

- I have several Skype dates next week with amazing women who are on similar missions as I am and I think it's really important to develop a network you can turn to when you are feeling like your losing your mojo.

We need to let go of the comparison and join forced to change the world, one voice at a time.

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We all come up against resistance. It's part of life. However, we can push our way through if we have a plan and know what needs to be done to break free.

I believe in you. You are here for a reason and you can do ANYTHING!

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Dealing with Infertility - My Way

Just over a year ago I was told by a fertility specialist that I was infertile and he believed the only way I could get pregnant was through IVF. This news wasn't exactly 'shocking' as I always had a feeling that the complication from surgeries years before may have an effect on my ability to conceive and after a year of trying without success, I was starting to wonder. However, in the deepest place in my heart I knew that his cut and dry point of view and even 'professional' opinion may not be true. I'm not being naive by any means, but I also believe in the power of the body to heal itself with proper nutrition and holistic attention. And also,  considering the slew of tests my husband and I had done to show that my tubes were open, I had eggs, spermies were strong swimmers (and moving in the right direction), I felt he was jumping the gun just a tad bit, maybe even trying a little too hard to sell us a $15,000 dollar procedure.

After this doctor told my husband and I the news we tried one round of IUI, Intrauterine Insemination, which required me to be on Clomid and giving myself an injection that forced my body to ovulate on a specific day. To be honest, this went against everything I really believe in for myself but the desire to be a mom and have a baby took over my senses and I jumped into it as the exact day we were at the clinic was the first day I needed to start Clomid. The drugs made me nothing short of crazy, full of emotions and really sick. But despite all of that and more than anything, it just felt wrong to me.

When aunt flow came a few weeks later I bawled my eyes out, part of which I attribute to the hormones, and decided no more.  I needed to do this my way. The way that felt right to me in the deepest part of my soul.

I also realized that I had to come to terms with the fact that we may not have kids. It really isn't a given for anyone to be honest but as I approach my mid-thirties, I've had to start being really honest with myself, especially if I don't want to take any extra measures.

Even say those words, a whole year later, makes my heart sink deep into my stomach. A life without having children to me is something I've never even considered. True, I can always adopt but what I've always wanted was to birth a child of my own and that was what I felt like I had to mourn.

So I spent about nine months trying to convince myself that I didn't really need to have children. I told myself all sorts of things like, 'think about ALL the money we'll save" and "I can be an amazing aunt," but sometime in September I realized that I was lying to myself. I knew that I didn't want to take extra measures such as IVF or IUI but I also had been feeling 'off' for many years. My lack of sex drive, irregular periods, crazy PMS, those were all signs that something wasn't right in my body.

I decided to try a new natropath, one that I had heard great things about and made my first appointment. Upon meeting with them, I was immediately overcome with a feeling of hope for the first time in almost a year. First of all, this clinic has five naturopaths and they all work together as a team. I had two doctors in the room with me and as I told them my concerns, ailments and hopes, their excitement was palpable. They told me that I was their dream patient because I was so excited about healing from the inside out and after an hour and a half,  I left with a solid plan to begin the journey of healing.

It's all about detoxifying my major organs and getting my hormones balanced again. That was number one. They put me on something called Unda's, which are highly concentrated herbs that you take in a certain order up to three times a day. They also put me on a hormone balancing tincture that is also highly concentrated herbs that I take two times a day and I take homeopathic granules that I take twice a day at various stages of my cycle.

I'll admit, it's a lot and at first it was hard to stay on top of it all but now, it's like an old habit because I know it's working. The fact that for the first time since I was in my late teens I had a 28 day cycle made me literally jump up and down with excitement. With only being on the herbs and the hormone tincture for a month, my cycle suddenly was normal. For so many months the first site of auntie flow would literally bring me to tears but this time, I screamed with excitement and jumped up and down running into my husbands office.

I know, I know...only a holistic health coach!

I've dealt with horrible periods my whole life and finally it was normalized, lasting 3-4 days, light flow (sorry about the TMI) and basically no cramps. Um, can I say A-MAZ-ING!

Now, a month and a half later, I'm on a whole new set of number that are really intense. They are doing some major work on my liver, kidneys, colon and other major organs and I'm having some crazy detox symptoms but I just keep telling myself that this will pass and I'll be healthier and feel better than I have in a very long time. I already see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I know that some people balk at the idea of holistic and naturopathic medicine but here is the thing; we live in a society that wants a quick fix right now and the thing about natural medicine is that it takes time because it's repairing the damage and slowly healing from the inside out. It's incredibly powerful stuff and it does work. You just have to be patient and give yourself the time to really heal.

I am in no way criticizing Western medicine because without it, I would be dead. However, I think there needs to be a better balance and so many of our ailments can be reversed by working with your diet and a naturapath or some other specialist like a health coach.

I don't know if I will get pregnant but what I do know is that I am doing my body a huge service by really giving it the love and attention it deserves. I'm allowing it to heal, to be cleaned out and whatever comes from that is going to feel pretty great. And hey, if that's a baby, then that will be the icing on the cake.

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Are you an innie or an outie?

I'm not talkin' about belly buttons here! I'm talking about introverts and extroverts! I believe that knowing this one thing about yourself, could have a dramatic affect on your life in a really positive way!

Watch the video and then read below as I discuss why knowing this about myself has really allowed me to honor who I am and be a better person.

http://youtu.be/u9tCg8oY8Zc

So just after watching this video what do you think you are? Introvert or extrovert?

I knew from a very early age that I hated being the center of attention and I really loved spending quality time alone. However, I always felt like there was something wrong with me. I tried desperately to 'fit in' pushing myself in ways that just didn't feel natural to me and I always fell short of my own expectations. I was never talkative enough at parties, finding myself in the back corner just watching and observing what was going on and after days in a row of scheduled plans I would need a whole day all alone at home to recuperate. All the while I thought something was wrong with me.

Turns out, nothing was wrong with me, I'm just an introvert!

Once I started to really understand what that means I was able to tailor my schedule to meet my personal needs. I try not to commit to too many things in a row, giving myself an evening to do my introverted thing, and I really value that I prefer a few intimate relationships over a dozen acquaintances. Knowing this about myself has strengthened my friendships because I'm not putting unrealistic pressure to go out and befriend everyone.

I am really honest with myself and in doing so become a happier person. I always think it's great to push ourselves a little outside of our comfort zone. That is where amazing change happens after all, but I also now know when I need to take a day to myself and reboot my batteries.

I'll be talking more about this in future post but here are a few ways to determine whether you are an introvert or an extrovert.

You may be an introvert if the following statement generally applies to you:

• I am seen as "reflective" or "reserved"
• I feel comfortable being alone and like things I can do on my own
• I prefer to know just a few people well
• I sometimes spend too much time reflecting and don't move into action quickly enough
• I sometimes forget to check with the outside world to see if my ideas really fit the experience

You may be an extrovert if the following statement generally applies to you:

• I am seen as "outgoing" and as a "people person"
• I feel comfortable in groups and like working in them
• I have a wide range of friends and know lots of people
• I sometimes jump to quickly into an activity and don't allow enough time to think it over
• Before I start a project, I sometimes forget to stop and get clear on what I want to do and why

After reading over these statements ask yourself how you can really honor who you truly are. What can you do to get more aligned with your introvert or extrovert ways?

More to come! Have a fantastic week my friends!

The Sexiest Thing My Husband Ever Said to Me

Last night my husband and I were in a discussion over dinner about a possible business adventure we are thinking about embarking on. It's something I've been wanting to do for years and would help make our community a healthier and happier place so naturally I want to do it!

I'd say that my hubs and I have entrepreneurial spirits, he runs our family vineyard and winery and I run my own coaching business, all from the comfort of our home and we love the idea of opening more.

We love the freedom that comes from running our own businesses but at the same time it can also bring with it lots of fear and a major case of the 'what if's.' The unknown can be scary and at times, paralyzing stopping you dead in your tracks. But my husband said the sexiest thing to me last night that got my fire burning and totally shifted my perspective.

"Babe, I just want us to take more risks!" See, totally sexy huh? :)

As we sat there talking more about this business idea it reminded me why it is so important to have a support system whenever you are setting out to do something new AND it reminded me why it's important to take a deep look at those 'what if' voices and ask yourself who's they really are.

After dinner I was driving to the yoga studio to teach a class and all of the sudden all these fears and doubts started racing into the forefront of my mind. What was and idea that was exciting and full of curiosity only thirty minutes prior was now totally saboteur thoughts. Isn't it amazing how quickly that happens?

So I decided to think of what my life would look like had I never taken any risks to begin with.

+ I would have never went back to school and gradated with a BA in Psychology (I graduated when I was 26)

+ I would have never backpacked around Europe with two friends for three weeks

+ I would have never moved to Taiwan on a whim to teach English and grow in ways I never thought imaginable

+ I would have never moved to Oregon and married my best friend and love

+ I would not bare witness to my amazing coaching clients rediscovering who they are

+ Nor would I have meet some of the  most inspiring individuals I have ever known

What would your life look like had you not decided to take a few risks? Even if they seem small they have shaped your life in profound ways. WHAT IF you decided to take that next big leap?

Maybe it is starting your own business or signing up for coaching to gain more clarity into what you want with your life. Or, maybe it's going back to school or changing jobs or leaving an unhappy relationship or starting one with someone you never imagine.

The point is, you will never know where it will take you if you don't take a few risks. I know it can be scary and it's easy to listen to the voice in your head that is trying to talk  you out of it but WHAT IF you just did it?  How would your life change? Would you be happier? Would you feel more fulfilled? Would your life make more sense?

WHAT IF?

Live Like You Were Dying

My cousin is dying. She has stage 4 stomach cancer and is 34 years old, leaving behind a 3 1/2 year old son and a loving husband as well as a circle of family and friends that love her so incredibly much. Talking with my Aunt yesterday, without the miracle we are all hoping for, she may only have days left. And although this really is not my story to tell, the thoughts that have been filling my mind are. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, wondering what must be going through her mind as she prepares to leave this world, leaving her little boy and husband behind.

After I got off the phone with my Aunt I walked out my front door, welcomed by the sun kissing my rosy cheeks and the crisp air causing me to shiver. I wrapped my arms around my waist, giving myself a much needed hug and sat on the cold concrete steps,  tears falling down my cool cheeks landing in my lap. I tilted my head towards the sky and closed my eyes, my mind consumed with the thought of how unfair it was that someone so young, so full of life was being taken so soon.

It's quite a paradox actually.

My mind wander to places I was wasn't sure I wanted to go. I feel sad for not knowing her better, for not placing more importance on family and friends and treating every moment with them like the gift that it is.

I spent a lot of my life longing for what I didn't have failing to see all of the amazing things I was gifted with in my life. So many of us do this, don't we?

I sat on that cool concrete step yesterday thinking about this, not with regret but as a lesson, a road map to answering questions that have been on my mind lately. How can I really, truly be more appreciative and grateful for and in my life? How can I continue to grow and fully show up in my own life in a way that is truthful and authentic. Where am I still hiding, surrounded by my protective armor?

It's easy to say we are grateful and to give thanks to what we have but what does it really mean? How does it really feel in our bodies, in our hearts? How does it shape us and lead us towards the lives we really, truly long for?

A Tim McGraw song has been playing on repeat in my mind, Live Like You Were Dying, and the words take on a new meaning. I want to show up in my life in ways I never have before. I want to leave a mark on the world that changes the course of many lives and most importantly, I want to live from a place of deep and immediate joy and meaning and complete, wholehearted gratitude.

You never truly know when you time here will be over. How do you want to live your life?

Will you join me?

Grab those you love and tell them so daily, as much as you possibly can. Let go of regret and lingering conflicts and forgive. Embrace where you are at in your life and in your body and mind and commit to propelling forward with confidence and so much love for yourself and live your life like you were dying.

We only have a limited number of days here. How will you chose to live them? Take that leap of faith and try something new, let go of something you've been holding on to, take that first step forward into the life you've always wanted. Trust.

And most importantly, love until you can't possibly love anymore and then... try to love more... extend your heart.

Live today, like you don't have a tomorrow.