The Year of The Yes

I've never really been one to make New Year's Resolutions which is strange coming from someone who coaches other on how to design and implement small changes in their lives in order to reach their goals. For me, setting New Year's goals has always felt phony and forced and typically three weeks in I've fallen so far off the wagon and I might as well wait for the next year anyway. And as the lovely Danielle LaPorte says, it's the feeling that reaching the goal will bring we are chasing anyways.

So what I do instead is reflect on the feeling I want to create and give lots of thought to what needs to happen in order to encourage more of that in my life. I believe in creating a vision and having a theme or a word that encompasses the feeling I'm trying to create in my life.  This year is all about the yes because I want the excitement and exhilaration that follows. 

I guess it all boils down to a sense of freedom and adventure. We can easily talk ourselves out of so much if we allow ourselves. I know I sure can anyway. So what exactly do I mean by saying yes more? Well, to anything really but one place I am starting is with dating. 

I've spent the last nine months trying to figure my junk out. Why I keep putting myself in similar situations and how I can do things differently moving forward. I've thought about what I want and definitely have come to know what it is I don't want. 

I think when you go through something like divorce or a major breakup it's important to reflect on all of it. And regardless of what instigated the demise of the relationship, the hard truth is it takes two to tango and it's never just one persons fault. So, I've had to think a lot about my role in all of it which is a whole post in and of itself. But anyway....

When I decided to move 1200 miles away from everyone that is comfortable to me I decided that once I was here I'd put myself out there and start dating. I mean, I could continue saying I'm not ready or I could think of it as a fun way to meet new people. It's really up to me. 

Dating in the past has always been somewhat interesting. Until I feel comfortable, I can be painfully awkward at times and/or bail out because I really hate the awkward moments of silence.  And I'm pretty sure I was born without the ability to bullshit. I mean, I can definitely flirt but bullshit? Not so much.  In fact, the very thought of sitting across the table from a complete stranger "chit-chatting" makes my stomach turn, my palms sweat and my throat go dry. If I know anything about myself for certain it is that I am not a bullshitter.  

Actually, one of the reasons I love being a coach is that you get to go deep and go deep fast. People literally pay me to jump right to the good stuff, the real stuff. I live for the real stuff. I thrive on the real stuff. So when it comes to jumping back in the saddle and putting myself out there I get nervous because I know there is the inevitable first date of potential awkwardness. I know. I sound so negative. 

However, 2015 is the year of the yes and with that comes saying yes when I get asked out on a date or to do anything for that matter. And what I've come to know is it really boils down to me changing my perspective. How can I find adventure in dating? How can I find adventure in getting to know these new people? How can I get out of my own way and fully embrace this new experience? 

So, I joined Tinder.

Yep. I did the very thing I said I'd never do because I need to put myself out there and honestly I have no idea how to actually well, put myself out there so I just did it. I joined.  However, I'm not so sure it will be so hard meeting people considering some guy at the grocery store handed me his phone number (unsolicited mind you) within two minutes of talking to him about the sacred geometry ring on my finger.  All of this happnened only a few hours after landing in Encinitas.

So, yeah,  I joined Tinder and it seems to work because I already have a meet up with someone on Sunday. But wait, was that too fast? I mean, crap! Did I just accept a walk on the beach with a complete aggressive crazy? It's just a walk, right? Really no need for my overly active and analytical mind to start overthinking right? Plus no awkward stares from across the table (BONUS!) and it IS the year of the yes and he asked and I said yes. 

So aside from dating because really, let's be honest here, my whole freakin' life just completely changed and there is more going on then me starting to date.  However if we are being completely honest, that's the stuff ya'll really want to read about, right? :). I know you so well. 

But apart from saying yes to dates I'm saying yes to anything and everything (within my moral code).

Walk on the beach? Yes!
Surfing? Yes!
Sailing? Yes!
Road trip up the coast? Yes!
Meet up for dinner on a school night? Yes!
Skydive? Maybe...probably....okay, yes!
Swimming with Great Whites? Um... hell no! Are you crazy? It may be the year of yes but I think that one gets a no.

But you get the point, right? This over analytical brain of mine, the one that talks myself out of a whole lot, is taking a little break and I've decided to give life a big old YES. 

My move, more than anything, is about living with a sense of adventure and all of this yes business feels wildly adventurous. And if anything, it'll make for a great story while I awkwardly stare at someone from across the table. 

Here is to saying yes!

My Wellness Bag of Tricks

I get asked a lot about what my health and wellness routine looks like so today's post was inspired from all the questions I get. My routine, or rituals as I call them, have been learned through trial and error over the years and I imagine that they will continue to evolve as I learn more about what works for my life, feeds my heart and soul and makes me feel nourished and nurtured on a deeper level.First and foremost, I believe that health and wellness looks a little different for everyone, mainly because no two people are the same and everyone has different needs to feel healthy, happy and well-balanced. Nourishment and nurturing comes in all shapes and sizes.

Below are a few of my needs and maybe some of them will resonate with you or spark a curiosity.

All in all, just keep trying new things, seek out support and as always, know that I am here to help guide love you as you embark on your journey into a well nourished and nurtured life. 

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1. Eat more greens and limit animal products like dairy. 

I read a study recently that discussed the number one food lacking in most American's diets and it turns out it those glorious greens you hear so much about. There are so many magical ways to get more greens into your diet.

I hear a lot from people that they are so tired of eating salads and I'm here to tell you that there are SO many other ways to add more greens to your diet. Check out this Pinterest board I have created for you dedicated to all those Glorious Greens. This board is full of amazing, delicious and easy recipes to add to your weekly meal planning.  I'll continue to add to it so make sure you like me on Pinterest, would you?

Savoury Soul - Glorious Greens

There is also a lot of confusion regarding dairy consumption. Is it good for you or bad?  If I don't have dairy in my diet where will I get my calcium? Well loves, good news! There are actually so many other beneficial ways to get calcium into your diet such as eating more of those dark leafy glorious greens. Plus, dairy is highly acidic. When our bodies are in an acidic state it is like a breeding ground for disease and illness.

One of the best articles I've read about why you should ditch dairy is from the ever wonderful Kris Carr found here. She also lists a ton of other calcium-rich alternatives. Check it out!

2. Drink your greens

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Another powerful and easy way to add more greens to your diet is to drink them. When I can't get to my juicer I often bring powdered greens with me and add them to my water bottle. They are a great way to alkaline your body and get additional nutrients. I've tried many brands and am loving these from Aloha. All organic ingredients with a lot of nutritional value.

They offer everyone a free trial period. You can try them for yourself here.

3. Sweat it out

A great way to detox our bodies is through sweating. Whether you do this through exercise or my latest love, Far Infrared Sauna, it's an important part of cleansing your body on a regular basis.

I posted this picture on Instagram awhile back. Do you follow me yet? 

There are many benefits of using Far Infrared Sauna but just to share a few with you here:

+ Detoxes the body by about 17% more than a normal sauna + Helps heals aches and pains + Pulls out inflammation + Increased relaxation + Purification + Improves skin + Relieves joint pain and stiffness + Increases your metabolism

You just slip inside, close the door for 30 minutes and sweat your tushes off. I usually bring a book or close my eyes and relax.

4. What you put on your skin

For a long time I was mostly concerned only with what I put in my body. I'd eat only organic foods however, what we put on our bodies is just as important. Your skin is the largest organ on your body and absorbs whatever you put on it directly into your bloodstream and into your cells.

Over the last year and a half I have slowly transitioned out of using toxic and chemical laden products and found a few products that I really love that are aligned with what I am looking for.

My nonnegotiable's are:

+ Organic + Cruelty free/animal byproduct free + Safe for the environment using limited resources

Transition can feel a little overwhelming at first so I suggest that you start slow. I went through all my makeup and threw away anything I didn't use anymore and everything that was toxic. I invested in a few essentials at first and have slowly added to them. I don't wear much makeup to begin with but I mean,  it's always fun to have a hot red lipstick in the mix.

I also found a skin care line I really love. It's not too expensive and adheres to my non-negotiable. It's called Acure Organics and can be found at most health food stores and online.

I also use Dr. Bronner's  for body and face wash. I love their peppermint. It smells so fresh and clean.

And last, Instead of lotion, I slather my body with organic coconut oil. I still have a ginger mix I got on my trip to Panama two years ago otherwise, I just use the same stuff I cook with except I keep a different jar in my bathroom.

5. Find some stillness

"Quieting the monkey mind." I love this expression because it rings true for me.

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For years I use to tell myself (and others) that I just couldn't meditate. I couldn't get my mind to find any stillness. In many ways I feel like meditation found me though. It got to a point where my own pain and suffering where becoming unbearable and I had to figure out another way. Sitting in stillness has added so many benefits to my life but mostly, it's given me access to what has been true all along and it's allowing me to tap into my inner guide, my number one, my true essence.

6. Get with gratitude

Going through life with a glass half empty attitude is exhausting. It drains you and leaves very little room to appreciate all the amazing things that you do have in your life. I know because this was me for years. Sure, there will be days when you feel blah and like you have no idea how you'll muster up the energy to feel grateful but believe me, the more we practice it, the more it becomes a constant fixture in our lives. And, the more it's in our lives the more we invite in the good stuff.

The best thing I ever did was invest in a gratitude journal. Most mornings I wake up, meditate for 15 minutes and then sit down to journal away what came up during meditation or what I'm feeling/working through at the moment. I also combine my gratitude list. It's been a powerful addition to my life. 

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7. Continue to find ways to grow as a human being

I think that personal growth is one of the most self-empowering things we can do for ourselves. However, I think one of the biggest misconceptions about growth is that eventually we will arrive. I mean, yes, there are some people who obtain enlightenment but for the most part, it's an ongoing journey for all of us. It takes practice and consistent attention mixed with a good dose of gratitude and just getting out there and living your life.

Tapping into your spirit and inner guide and learn to trust yourself, even when what you are doing may feel scary, is one of the best ways to continue to grow into your life.

Other incredible ways to continue to grow:

+ Journal regularly + Read...a lot (I'll post some of my favorite growth books) + Meditate + Hire a Coach (you can learn how to work with me here)

Take ownership of your life and make it a commitment but whatever you do, don't stop living your life.

My Body Is Amazing and So Is Yours

This post was originally written as part of a blog series over at An Emergent Life as a way to bring awareness to body image and eating disorder awareness in general and to Body Image and Eating Disorder Awareness Week in Australia.  This is such an important topic for me to write about not only in my own healing journey but because it is my hope that one day all women and men with truly cherish, love, nurture and nourish their bodies and find freedom in their own individual beauty. 

My body is amazing.

On the very basic level, my body shows up every day working it’s magic just to keep me alive. It knows when to take a breath, it doesn’t need to be told to pump blood through my veins, and it has an amazing ability to eliminate things that it no longer uses.

My body is incredible.

This body of mine has fought illness, disease and life-threatening infection and in a moment when I thought I might breathe my last breath, it worked even harder to make sure that didn’t happen. My body, this body that I was given, is a real gift.

On a deeper level my body is a vessel where I take up residency and live my purpose serving the world. It’s a divine and gracious vessel, home to a soul that’s craving to send out love and compassion, a soul that is ready and yearning to make a difference in this big world of ours.

However, it took me a really long time to realize how lucky I am to have this body.

I had an eating disorder for almost 15 years that consumed me and in all honesty, not many people even know about it. It varied in severity but at my worst it was bad and at my best it was manageable. Some days I wondered if I would think about anything other then what my body looked like, how much I was eating or whether or not I got to work out enough to burn what I had eaten.

I longed for the day that I would just be happy with what I was given. I was desperate to find freedom but I didn’t know how.

I spent so many years fighting with this incredibly resilient body I have. I’ve abused it in ways that I’m not proud of. I’ve berated it, cursed it, called out its flaws and used it to gain inappropriate attention from men. I’ve pushed it when it was tired and weak and needed rest and I’ve whittled it down to nothing all in the name of vanity.

I spent so much time longing for something different that I missed the amazing things my body was capable of doing. I felt like a prisoner, longing for freedom, bound by shackles wrapped tightly around me ankles holding me where I was. I couldn’t see this gift for what it truly was.

And then it happened. The day I finally realized I was free.

It was almost three years ago and I was busy working on one of my home projects, a newfound passion of mine, when it occurred to me that I hadn’t obsessed about food, exercise or my weight in what felt like a long time.

I stood there in disbelief and wondered what had changed? What was so different now from the days where it was all I could think about, when it was my whole world?

I continued to mull this over for a while when it hit me. It was me, I had changed.

I had started living my life instead of standing on the sidelines waiting for someone to tell me how to live it.

Slowly I began discovering interests and passions I never knew I had which consumed me in ways I’d never experienced. I had this newfound burning desire inside to be creative and explore the world differently. I had other things to take care of, to think about and slowly, these things began to take place of my obsession with my body.

For the first time I was fully immersed in doing something I loved. I was using my given gifts, getting creative, feeling passionate and alive.

I’ll be the first one to acknowledge that this isn’t as easy as it sounds in every case. There are a lot of severe cases of eating disorders that require professional attention. However, for me, my disorder stemmed from the fact that I wasn’t fully living in my life. I wasn’t heeding the call from within and instead I placed my energy and attention on my body.

What I’ve found in myself and witnessed in others is when we put a lot of emphasis on the exterior (how we look, what we have, who we are seen with, etc.) it’s a good indication that it’s time to look inside and see what is missing in our lives.

When we aren’t truly happy in our lives and with what we are doing, when we feel like we have no control over our lives, it’s easy to get caught up in the things we can control, like our body.

Once we begin to see that we are the co-creators of our lives, everything can change.

What do you want for your life? How do you want to feel? What are you interests, your passions and hopes and dreams?

Start here. Slowly begin to unravel what it is you truly want.

If this is something you struggle with this is a wonderful time to turn inward and ask yourself what are you truly hungry for?

Give yourself permission to dive into the dreams, to try new things, fall in love with you life and see what shifts elsewhere.

Your body is a gift. It’s a vessel for you to share your passion and light with the world.

Your body is amazing and so are you.

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If you struggle with issue surrounding your body and eating I encourage you to reach out to me. You really are not in this fight alone. 

A Month Without Sugar

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July has come and gone, can you believe it? That went by so fast. We are are already on the latter part of the year, with a mere five months to go. The summer months here in the Pacific Northwest are a treasured time. We spend quite a few months under the clouds and rain and summers are magical.  I mean, look at this photo I took last weekend from my hike up McClellam Butte off the I-90 corridor!  I find I am happiest when I'm completely surrounded by touring trees, the clean smell of sweet pine sented air and the feel of my legs burning as I climb these magical hills. TI feel at home in the trees. I feel most comfortable in my skin here. I also accomplished a great feet this past month. If you've been reading along this summer you saw that back at the beginning of July I announced that I was quitting sugar for the whole month. You can read more about that here.

July has come and gone and I wanted to share my experiences with you about going sugar free, how I felt, and my learnings and takeaways.

As you know, I followed my friend Alison's program, Sweet Liberation: 30 Days to Kick Sugar to the Curb. I want to begin by saying that this program is it. Alison really knows her stuff.

Alison has been sugar-free for well over 1095 days and counting. Back in 2006, Alison became seriously ill and was later diagnosed with Lyme disease, an inflammatory disease that left Alison spending the last eight years doing everything to take back her health. Here story is incredibly inspiring and as I've grown to know Alison more, this women is full of beauty, grace and has a powerful and heart-centered mission to help others reclaim their own health. You can read more about her story here. 

One of the ways that she has regained her freedom is by going sugar-free. This program is not only for those with debilitating illness but rather it's for everyone. It demonstrates to all of us that sugar is a huge contributor to increased inflammation and illness in our bodies and something we should reduce if not eliminate completely. 

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WHAT I LEARNED

First and foremost, I want to be as transparent as possible. I don't typically eat a tremendous amount of sugar however I do tend to eat more of the 'natural' forms like maple syrup, honey, dates and anything else along those lines. My main motivation going sugar-free was the fact that I just wasn't sleeping well and dealing with more anxiety then normal. A lot of this, I'm sure, has to do with my divorce and the huge life transition I'm in the midst of but I wasn't 100% convinced that sugar wasn't playing a role either. I have also been suffering from an onset of adult acne again and was curious if sugar was a possible culprit.

Back in September of 2009 I was diagnosed with Candida and when I removed sugar from my diet as part of the protocol to heal my body,  my skin began to glow in ways I've never experienced and my adult acne went away. I was very curious if that was happening again. 

As someone that loves to test my body, the only way for me to be sure was to say bye-bye to the stuff. I also want to say that I cut out everything except alcohol so I was still getting some sugar from that. However, I would recommend cutting out alcohol as well to get the full affects of going sugar free.

In the beginning few days I found myself wanting to reach for a little bit of chocolate after meals. This was normal for me. To finish dinner off with a piece of dark chocolate however, it didn't take too long for that to dissipate. I was actually really surprised at how little I thought about sweets after the initial first few days. I think this was because the Sweet Liberation program is gentle and easy to follow. It starts slow and builds from there and incorporates sugar-free sweet alternatives which are amazingly satisfying so you don't feel deprived.

Sweet Liberation was created brilliantly and you never feel alone on the journey because Alison is popping into your inbox with with daily tips and inspiration to help keep you motivated. This is full of information to help you slowly eliminate sugar and learn healthier alternatives plus recipes to keep you full of energy.

I also have become super aware of how much sugar is in everything, especially prepared foods. I typically don't eat much of them but as I browsed the grocery store aisles I started looking on the back of packaging and was blown away by what is actually in a lot of it for preservation and taste.

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HOW I FEEL/RESULTS

Upon completing the thirty days I felt great. One of the big noticeable results was that I leaned out a lot which wasn't my intention at all. This showed me that sugar actually has more to do with bloating, inflammation and weight gain then I think people truly realize. And it's in EVERYTHING! I think a huge possibility with me leaning out has more to do with the inflammation sugar causes in the body then actual weight loss however. 

I didn't notice too much with my skin and this leads me to believe it is more hormonal and stress related then anything. I also started to do Far-Infared Sauna sessions which detoxes the body by about 17% more then regular saunas so my body could be doing a serious purge from that.

My sleep wasn't affected much either and I now recognize that this has more to do with deeper subconscious stuff then what I'm eating. However, I do believe when you have a diet that is excessive in sugar it CAN affect your sleep. One night when the program was over I decided to try a piece of dark chocolate while my brother, sister-in-law and I watched a movie. Within ten minutes of eating it my heart started beating faster and I had a little kick in my energy which  contributed to me having a harder time falling asleep.

Overall, I just felt lighter and cleaner from the inside out. Anyone that has eaten a super clean diet knows exactly what that feels like.

Alison has truly put together a program that for one, is based on her own personal success story and is also totally realistic and doable for anyone, no matter how much sugar you have in your diet.

You can find out more about Alison's program, Sweet Liberation: 30 Days to Kick Sugar to the Curb here.

I'd love to know: what are your experiences with sugar? When do you tend to turn to the stuff, how do you think it affects your body and what challenges do you face eliminating it from your diet?

Old Habits Sometimes Die Hard: Thoughts on Dating After Divorce

Dating has been on my mind a lot lately. Some people may say, "but Amanda, you've only been out of your marriage for four months. It's way too soon to start dating" However, what I've come to realize is the complexity of each individual relationship is just that, complex. How to determine if you are truly ready to take that next step is personal and different for everyone going through this experience. Most of what I think about in all honestly is wondering when I will actually be ready to put myself out there again.  How will I know? How do I do it it? Tinder, through friends, dating sites? Is it now? Maybe three months from now? A year? I've been trying to identify what it will feel like when I am finally in an okay place to feel that kind of vulnerability once again. This thought alone makes my heart beat quicken. 

I keep telling myself that I’ll just know. My intuition, my gut, my all knowing, it will tell me.

Some days I feel really excited to explore this unfamiliar world once again and other days I feel like I'll never be ready, like I just need more time. A lot more time.

I need time to continue processing the end of a marriage that seemed too short but at times, far too long. There are days when I need more time to dive deeper, feel deeper, forgive, cry, try to understand. And then there are days, lots of them, where I laugh and smile and am filled with such an incredible feeling of hope and possibility and dating seems sexy and fun. 

I know I want to fully acknowledge and understand what I deserve and want from a new partner. Most importantly however, I just need more time to fall deeper in love with myself before I can fall in love with someone else. 

I use to view dating as this overwhelming obligation because I wanted the end result. I thought it would fix me, make me whole. I wanted what looked perfect on paper, to feel secure, settle down and have kids. I wanted to be in the throws of comfort, that all knowing and move on with the natural progression of what my preconceived ideas of marriage were.

Here I am however, back in a place I was once so happy to leave yet happy to be here once again.

Single. 

This time it’s different though. There is freedom. There is peace. There is excitement. There is possibility. There is adventure. There is a new love for myself, a new love for my life. It's organic and deep and it feels really good. 

Sure, I have days where I'm sad. The past few days have been that way. It creeps up out of nowhere and grabs hold of my tender heart but really it isn't that sneaky, it's always there. Sometimes we find the best distractions to fool us into believing that maybe it is gone. Until you look it straight in the eye however, it will always be there. 

Recently I found myself in a situation where I was flirting with danger. Literally. I had found a good distraction with the attention of someone I was really attracted to, someone I was growing to like, someone who was fun and exciting. Someone who from day one told me he was emotionally unavailable.

In the past, those words were like a drug to me. The more I heard it the more it was a challenge for me. “Oh yeah? I’ll show you. You wont be able to resist me.” 

Old habits die hard. 

It was like a game to me. Part of me wanted to make them realize how amazing I was and the other part of me found comfort and safety in hearing those words because I knew our rendezvous wouldn't last and I wouldn't have to fully expose myself. Eventually, I would end up hurt, and mending my broken heart once again. Within that pain there was also my comfort.

I flirted with danger for a couple weeks until I admitted to my best girlfriend that I was merely going down the same path I always go down. It was familiar, it's what I knew but I want my life to be different. I was preventing real growth and one day, real love from happening. 

I ended it before it really even began and was proud of my decision because it shows that I have come a long way. I am learning from my past. I have grown.

If I have learned anything over the years it is that people always tell you who they are and where they are right away and you must believe them. There is no amount of trying to convince someone that you are amazing and beautiful and funny and sexy. All which may be true but you shouldn’t have to convince anyone of anything. Most importably, you should believe it yourself and then the right person will see it too. They will be available in ways you’ve never experienced before as long as you are ready to receive it.

I think about what I want and deserve now and my priorities have completely changed. As I continue to get to know myself in a deeper, more profoundly loving way, what I want for my life and what I want in a partner is first and foremost, a kind of availability I've never been open to before.

I grow more excited about the possibility of a different kind of love, on a level that is deeper then I've ever experienced. This starts first with myself and then, when the time is right, with a partner.

There is a freedom that comes with putting yourself back out there and having some fun and exploring the world and those who are commingling in it with you. And then there is a freedom in trusting yourself and having your own back when you know something isn't right. 

When I finally arrive at a place where I feel ready to get back out there, which may be tomorrow or months down the road, I want to stay committed to myself, my hopes, dreams, wants and desires. I want to remember why I left my marriage to begin with and remain open to finding someone equally amazing and most importantly, emotionally available.

I am committed to breaking my old patterns and creating new, healthy ones because it's the only way for me to live now. Moving forward, not backwards. 

There is real opportunity here to continue evolving into the women I want to be and honestly, already am.. It begins by listening to my intuition in a way I haven’t in the past, to know that I am worth so much more then trying to convince someone of my specialness. No convincing should ever be needed because all you truly need is to believe in yourself, to love yourself enough.

There may be a lot of fish in the sea but I believe the right one is out there waiting for me just as much as I am waiting for him. In order to find each other we have to continue listening to what it is we want deep down inside, to continue living our own lives, finding happiness, joy and love within ourselves.

Our paths will cross and when they do we’ll look at each other with a knowing smile that simply says, “Oh hey, there you are.”

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