While I'm away on my month-long adventure I have some friends here to help me share their experiences with adventure. Today Natalia from Achieve the Impossible is talking about how she found a sense of adventure in choosing to make a hard decision but one that was best for her and her life.
Last year, out of the blue, I was offered a volunteer leadership opportunity with a coaching organization. Based on my conversations, the role seemed like a great fit and it sounded like an amazing adventure.
I was given a few days to think it over; but the way I saw it, it was a done deal. I was so excited to be a part of a dynamic professional community and create great work together. What’s not to love?
Six months into the job, I was spending about 40 hours a week struggling to stay atop of my volunteer duties, often neglecting my business, personal relationships and other important commitments. Hard work never bothered me; however, in this case, as much as I tried, I couldn’t make it work. Turns out, this tribe wasn’t my tribe and the work, well, it didn’t light my heart on fire.
What I thought was going to be an exciting adventure in reality felt like torture.
But what could I do?
I made a commitment and it was my responsibility to keep my end of the bargain. I couldn’t just walk away, after all, people were counting on me.
Many of you, I’m sure, have been in a similar predicament. It’s tough to navigate but not impossible to handle. This is what you do:
Be honest with yourself
This is hard but the truth will set you free.
At first, I was afraid to the truth about I was really feeling and refused to listen to all the different ways my body was telling me to stop. Denial takes a lot of physical energy and emotional space. I felt tired and couldn’t find the motivation to do anything at all. Once I found the courage to be honest with myself, I felt free and energetic. I finally had the emotional bandwidth to consider my options and next steps. Oh relief!
Resistance Vs. It’s not working out
This is the type of thing I asked myself in the first few months. Is it resistance? Or is it just not working out?
Sometimes it takes to know for sure. We need to give it a solid try and I think there’s nothing wrong with that. But, some people don’t like licorice, they don’t need to try anymore – they just don’t like the taste. While many people before me loved doing this work, it wasn’t quiet the right fit for me.
With anything life, we have to know where the line is between resistance and something not being a good match. Do you really want to do it? Or is it something you’re doing because you think you have to?
What are saying Yes to?
Integrity is important to me and I loathe breaking promises. So much that I’ve been known to keep my promises regardless of how I felt about them. My word was a rock and so was I.
A wise woman once told me that by saying YES to things I don’t want to do, I was saying NO to things that energized and filled me up. Keeping a promise for the sake of keeping a promise is not being in integrity, it’s self-torture.
Yes, keeping your word is an honorable thing to do and people will always appreciate this about you. But what are you giving up as a result? What are you saying NO to by continuing to say YES to things that no longer serve you?
You’re allowed to change your mind
You can commit to something and then change your mind. It doesn’t make you a flake. It means that situation has changed and what once seemed like a great idea doesn’t fit anymore.
You know as well as I do that it’s nearly impossible for us to fully show up and do our best work when your heart is not in it. I thought I was doing this coaching organization a favor by enduring when in reality they deserved someone who wanted to be there and could give them their 100 per cent.
Ask yourself why it is that you do what you do, and whether you truly want to keep going. It’s worth noticing if you’re doing it because you think you have to, while ignoring something that you embrace enthusiastically and with your whole heart.
When I realized that I didn’t to force myself do the work that didn’t fill me up, I felt better. Sure, I may have disappointed others and some may think of me as a quitter. But I was quitting in favor of something that I wanted more: to work on projects that were closely aligned with my soul’s desires and surround myself with people who’s company I enjoyed.
Natalia is a certified life coach for women who are dreaming of aligning with their deepest truth and living a gorgeous life. Through her 1:1 sessions, eBooks and her signature eCourse - Unravel Yourself Circle - Natalia helps her clients explore different ways they hold themselves back, why they do it, and how to move past it. Shine with passion + take brave strides towards a life you love at Achieve the Impossible.