Beginnings, Endings and the Space In Between

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“Sometimes what you think is an end is only a beginning."

What I know about beginnings and endings goes a little something like this.

Beginnings are euphoric. They hold a mysterious quality that feels like an opportunity. Anything is possible. Your imagination goes wild and the world is your oyster. 

Your heart flutters, you walk a little bit lighter, you smile bigger, your optimism is palpable and it’s as if you could take on the world.

Beginnings are full of life. They make your blood pump and your palms sweaty. You feel unstoppable. You feel, alive. 

Endings on the other hand, often feel like a death.  For many of us, a deep mourning sets in and we wait and feel and sometimes, we can’t figure out why we feel the way we feel or how we even feel for that matter.

And we even go to great lengths to numb those feelings that start to surface. 

The ending, or death, of a relationship, a job, a friendship, a lifelong dream, a hope can impact us all the same.

We must say goodbye to something that once was a beginning. Sometimes it's bittersweet, and other times, it hurts. A lot.

Here is the thing I’m learning about endings; there is an exponential amount of learnings that you can take and bring forth into the new beginning that is right around the corner.

That is not to say that endings are not excruciating and you can't always see or are even ready for that growth. Especially when it involves saying goodbye to someone you loved deeply. I do know from my own experiences, and what I have heard from some people closest to me, that eventually, with time, you start to wade through the fuzzy waters of pain and start to see beginnings again.

It does come, eventually. I promise. 

And you can’t have a beginning without some kind of ending and you can’t have an ending without some kind of beginning.

That's just life. It's cyclical. Look at the span of a year and the beginnings and endings that come with each passing season. You not only can see if physically but you can literally feel it within you. 

This one little notion has helped me wade through some pretty dark waters. After my divorce, even though it was my decision and felt like an empowered one, I was struck by a grief so thick and so unexpected, at times I could barely scrape myself off the playroom floor which was my temporary bedroom. It was one of the most confusing times of my life and some of the most excruciating pain I've ever been through.

And coming off the year I just had, again I found myself in the depths of so much heaviness and fear, at times I didn't know which way was up and which way was down. 

As I felt my way through the darkness, I eventually saw a glimmer of light that gave me hope.

And then, there it was. A beginning...  

But I've been wondering lately if putting that much meaning and weight and waiting for beginnings and endings actually create more suffering? Wouldn't life be more peaceful if we learn to find more balance in the in-between places?

It seems to me we are in love with the beginnings and deeply fear endings. When we are so focused on either, or, aren't we missing the beat all together? Aren't we missing what life is truly about...LIVING. 

Ask anyone who has lost someone by death or someone who they themselves are dying and they all pretty much say the same thing; I wish I would have lived more in the moment, especially with those I love. I wish I would have held their hand longer, watched more sunsets with them, forgiven sooner, let go of more and held their gaze longer. And I definitely wish I would have said I love you way more. 

For me, my current lesson is letting go of expectations that come with new beginnings and not fear unavoidable endings. Because again, life is cyclical. Beginnings and endings will always be apart of all of our lives. 

I'm learning, every day,  to just live right where I am at. And it is not easy. Believe me when I say this. As someone who struggles with horrible anxiety, I have to remind myself of this so many times throughout the day. "Just sit with this Amanda. Just be here right now, Amanda. Take a big breath Amanda You will be okay Amanda."

 I'm learning, slowly, to appreciate every person and experience for what it is teaching me. To trust that whatever is meant to be in my life will be. And not fear those things that feel are coming to an end.

Because... there will always, and forever, be another beginning right around the corner. 

A Savoury Soul: Betsy Fry // Betsy Fry Coaching & Find Food Peace

       Betsy and I met in a networking/support group that we are both apart of on facebook for women entrepreneurs.  When we first started the group which happened by chance, I had a great time checking out the other six or so ladies and seeing what they are up to in their lives and businesses. You will see all those ladies featured here (some all ready have been) soon

       Betsy and I have a lot in common. Both life/nutrition/wellness coaches and both with a mission to help woman break the cycle of emotional eating and take back their empowerment to live happier, healthier, fuller lives. Betsy was trained in the Martha Beck Life Coaching program, is a lover of running, yoga and like me, a huge animal enthusiast :)

       Read on to get to know Betsy a little more...

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        Tell me more about Betsy Fry coaching. What is your specialty, what do you love about coaching?

I am a Martha Beck trained life coach, which means that I work on helping people get rid of their negative thoughts in order to clear them up to live a more powerful life.  I specialize in weight loss and body image coaching for successful women.   What I love most about coaching is watching women transform before my eyes.  They are able to drop their fears, insecurities and excuses and start living their best life within weeks of us working together.

I love your blog, Find Food Peace and your emphasis on breaking from emotional eating. What is a common theme amongst people’s emotional eating habits?

First off, thank you for the compliment!  The most common underlying theme below emotional eating is the deep seeded thought “I am not worth it.”  Women tend to give their everything to the world around them and then there is nothing left to give themselves, which leads them to think they are not worth the effort put into weight loss.  Through coaching, they are able to release those thoughts and start making the investment into themselves.

           What are your non-negotiables when it comes to healthy living?

My personal non-negotiables are not skipping workouts no matter what is going on in my life, getting an adequate amount of sleep and trying to stay away from processed foods.

           What is your biggest accomplishment on your health journey?

Last year I worked out for 365 days straight and blogged about it here http://365daysofsweat.wordpress.com  It was the most challenging task I have ever undertaken, but I learned that I am stronger than I think and can accomplish whatever I make my #1 priority.

I would love for you to share your best tip on staying healthy during the crazy busy summer months

The best tip to staying healthy is making yourself your #1 priority no matter what is going on in your life.  If things are crazy busy for you, then just carve out 30 minutes of alone time to get in a run, a simple yoga flow or some meditation.  Do whatever you can to show yourself love during this time and it will set you up for peace and success in every other realm of your life.

          What is a Savoury Soul to you?

A Savoury Soul is a soul that is three-dimensional:  mind, body and soul.  The mind is cared for with peaceful thoughts, the body is deeply nourished from nutritious foods and loved to the core with regular exercise and the soul is taken care of daily with an individual’s spiritual practice.

Betsy FryMartha Beck trained Life Coach, yoga guru, running fanatic, failed meditation(er), recovering donut addict, animal obsessionist, vegan wannabe, self-help maniac.

You can find her on Facebook and Twitter or on her website here.